Through each experience, you are building a stronger relationship with your spouse.
You keep going home together and having amazing sex together.
By that I mean we try and distance ourselves from couples and let them make plans with us, or we will occasionally shoot them a message if we have a free weekend.
We know people who even won’t play with the same couple twice or at least limits it to one meeting per month.
Before we go on our first date, we want to know how to deal with the “feelings” part of swinging. I mean we ideally want to find great couples we are mutually attracted to, have fun sex, and eventually become friends with the right ones.
From our research, the sex should be about playing and keeping the feelings for us. Separate swaps are out of the equation for now but we may be ok with the right folks down the line.
We do have a few couples we see regularly and consider good friends at this point. This seems to work for us and makes sure we are not getting too close to any one couple.
At the same time we know these couples well enough to be able to experiment sexually in a way we would never do on a first/second date.
The first time you have a good connection with someone, absolutely you will feel NRE, but also in your head, you learn to recognize it for what it is - fleeting - it fades.
Once you can identify NRE and what it feels like, then you can sort of push it aside in your head.
I also don’t view sex as for purely expressing my love with my husband. Depending on your needs that can still be fun, but you may eventually want something that more closely resembles a friendship or has some emotional intimacy attached. When we find a great connection with a couple, it’s hard to not want to keep them close, but that’s either how true feelings develop or how you wind up scaring them off for good.