In relationships a limit is where you establish your personal space from another’s personal space-what is mine and what is yours. Even what is ours is a mutually agreed upon creation for what is perceived as appropriate, acceptable behavior in relationships for all parties.
As with all comedy, timing is everything in effectively setting limits.
Act too quickly and the other party believes he or she has been rejected or negatively judged, and may develop a suspicious, untrusting attitude.
William Golding’s book (1954) and Peter Brook’s subsequent 1963 movie provide a scintillating, chilly portrait of what results in a society without rules, laws and authority.
This story depicts a band of young boys in their struggle to eke out their survival when stranded on an island.
Rules bring an ordered structure by delineating acceptable standards of behavior.
Although many individualists may complain, act out and flaunt laws, they usually prefer them to the chaos and unpredictable consequences of not having them.The boys in Golding’s island speak up for their preference for adult authority and moral standards of right and wrong, even as they witness the escalating madness that demolishes their world.Without boundaries our social relationships and society as a whole would degenerate into license, chaos, anarchy and permissiveness.Limits are a form of structure that preserve responsible, respectful freedom and offer necessary supportive structures for learning and winning.Accomplishing these goals through clear, credible reasoning coupled with assertive, limit-setting behaviors is crucial for a productive, psychologically healthy life.Given the broad absence of limits in our world, every encounter is another opportunity to check and set limits, with clear consequences for honoring or violating them.