You’re looking for respect, politeness, and empathy.Anything else may be a red flag that he’s an to the demise of the relationship.And the likelihood of that happening again and again — no less to a man who clearly seems to be emotionally unavailable — is highly suspect.
But how he treats others is a pretty good indicator of what you need to know about this guy.
When he sees a homeless woman asking for change at the stoplight, does he say, Is he rude to waiters at restaurants, always demanding things from them? Okay, maybe that’s taking things too far, but my point is: is he compassionate and empathetic to others?
He may be great in a crisis, but when it comes to opening up about his feelings (even his disappointment of his football team losing the Super Bowl), this man seems incapable of emotional expression.
How to Address This: You may be fighting a losing battle, but you’ve at least got to make an attempt to get into this guy’s head and heart.
My point is: you don’t know why these emotionally unavailable men are the way they are.
The best you can do is to look for signs that the man you’re in a relationship with or just starting to date may be one more on your long list of emotionally unavailable men.He may have been taught to or encouraged to toughen up by his father.He may have experienced trauma that he bottled up over a lifetime, which can make being vulnerable again a challenge.He might be angry about a recent relationship (that’s understandable), but if he talks the same about one that was years ago, you have to wonder why he’s holding on to that resentment.How to Address This: A man who is emotionally secure can talk about past relationships in a constructive way.You may have initially been attracted to this guy’s self-confidence, but over time it’s turned into something else. I think the primary reason emotionally unavailable men can be self-centered is that they can control the conversation.