Women with traits of BPD may appear to be capable of overriding their natural selfishness when they are in the throws of new love.
Passion and excitement may attract a future mate initially, but long-term relationships require self-discipline.
The nice-guy type gets very high marks in the area of relationship safety and security.
Just like there is a profile for the borderline personality type, there is also a profile for the kind of man that they often choose to partner with.
The type of personality that so often gets caught up in a relationship with a woman with traits of BPD is what we might call a “nice guy” type.
When we don’t, our relationship partners experience our selfish actions as a mild form of betrayal of our relationship agreement.
These minor betrayals over agreements to make each other feel safe in the relationship and to keep things fair for both people are at the heart of most of our everyday arguments.
In order to understand the dynamic of this couple, we need to answer a very important question.
What was it about this man that attracted a woman with traits of BPD in the first place?
What they tend to overlook is the fact that betrayal happens on a much more subtle level every day in all of our relationships.