In the midst of the excitement, you have to take your thoughts captive and make decisions about enjoying emotional closeness and small amounts of physical contact based on whether the relationship is deep and solid enough to benefit from these added dimensions, or whether it will only serve to cover up a lack of real communication.
For Luke and me, hand-holding was a positive thing that physically manifested some of the feelings and ideas that we had already verbalized.” Once you become good friends with someone, it seems as though hugs become part of the way many people say good-bye before long intervals apart or hello when they reunite.
I think holding hands is a sign that ‘this is the one for me’ to all the world, and that is just not something I want to do with just anyone.” Bill, 28 and married to Sue, said that he didn’t have a rule about holding hands before he was married but realized that “those first thrilling physical touches when one is young can often open the door to premature intimacy and big life mistakes.” Continuing, he remarked, “If I could do it all over again, I would refrain from hand-holding until becoming engaged (and then make sure the engagement was brief enough so as to minimize any potential problems).
Individual tolerances to holding hands or other touching may vary, so there’s no hard-and-fast rule.
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For those dating, it can be exhilarating—actual, real-live, skin-to-skin contact with someone of the opposite sex.
We didn’t ‘bear hug’ until a month before we were engaged, and we were careful with that.” Kissing, according to our panel, is definitely more intimate than hand-holding or hugs and should be avoided prior to engagement.
After you are engaged, a brief kiss seems appropriate. put it, “I know it is hard to resist kissing someone, especially if they mean a lot to you, or are very attractive.
While the majority of this panel felt these kind of short hugs were appropriate, they did offer a few cautions about regular and lengthy hugging with the opposite sex. said, “I think the thing is, the longer two people of the opposite sex hug, the more tendency there would be to kiss.
So if that sort of thing is affecting your mind, where it’s like you’ve been hugging this person and all of a sudden you just have to kiss them, then uh-oh!
It was good to acknowledge the way we cared for each other with something warmer than a ‘Hi.’ “It felt a bit stiff to us both as we grew to care for each other more, but anytime you are holding back feelings for the right time, things can feel awkward.