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We help these people identify the right matches, but then we go further, we play the role of go-between where we have counselors for the members. The nicest stories are typically people you would not expect to get married, like a man who was 72 and a 63-year-old woman who found each other.

You can use different handles in each section under the same account too, so no one will be any wiser if you want to advertise for one thing in one place without ruining your chances for something more should it come up.

After Lavalife, I only know of a few others that are worth mentioning, although I've yet to find one that's truly ideal.

When people join the League, they receive a message from the concierge, who is there to offer support. For the first year and a half, I was the concierge. When you’re the first touchpoint for a new tech company, every message really matters. That was a challenge, as well as telling people they need to be less picky, especially when we believe that you should absolutely be picky about education and profession. I think that’s why people get angsty, just because we have so much time to do it. If your best friend is super-attractive, more attractive than you, think about that. It hides your identity and people can’t relate to you when you have sunglasses on. She was talking about how hard it is to meet someone being in a rural area and working a thousand hours a week on a farm, with no time to socialize. Farmers Only.” I got 5,000 texts asking how I set that up. Tell me about your theory of “slow love.”Americans think that all this sleeping around before marriage is reckless. You learn a lot about somebody between the sheets — whether they’re patient, kind, have a sense of humor. They’re using sex sometimes as an interview or to try to jump-start feelings of romantic love.

How did you tell people to be less picky diplomatically? I have the same League profile in New York and San Francisco. They ask a lot of questions about exes, whether their ex is on the League. Our grandparents were the first generation to start marrying for love. You’d be surprised how many ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend photos we see. When you live in a small community, everybody knows everybody, and if you’re not compatible with anybody in that community, it is a challenge. There was a girl from Ohio State, and she was into horses. It began to occur to me that it’s not recklessness, it’s caution. We’ve extended the period of getting to know someone. If there’s this long period of pre-commitment, you can get rid of relationships you don’t want before you marry. What’s something compelling you learned from last year’s survey? These days you get to know somebody quite a bit before the first date.

To answer your question: it depends on what you mean by legitimate.

Are you looking for an adult dating site that caters to adult encounters or casual sex, that isn't full of scammers or fake profiles?

Even sites that may once have been good can go bad.

They may be sold to a different owner who uses different standards or may engage in some of those shady practices to boost membership and use. My first recommendation would be to try Lavalife's Intimate Encounters section; you sign up with them and then decide which of the three sections you want to be a part of (Dating, Relationships or Intimate Encounters).

If that's the case, I'll admit it's pretty hard to find.

It's pretty hard for any site these days (especially the big ones) to stop fake profiles and scammers from signing up, but I think I get what you're after.

Does Shaadi ever get more deeply involved in the matchmaking process?

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