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Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s "into black guys." I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: And the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. The only gay people I saw in the media were white, and the few Black queer celebrities that I knew of, like Wanda Sykes and Michael Sam, were in interracial relationships.
My childhood in the Black church led me to believe that Black people were inherently homophobic — a myth — and that the only Black men who were gay were on the down low or infected with HIV — also a myth.
He questioned why Black men in particular want so desperately to be acknowledged as desirable by white men who have no interest in dating outside their race.
He wrote, "As Black men, we need to value ourselves so much that no outside force, no prejudice — even one guised as preference — can make us feel second place." Clearly, this dialogue wasn’t only happening in my head.Thankfully, marginalised queer communities have started to call out those hurtful comments as acts of discrimination rather than statements of preference.All of this has shed a glaring light on my internal struggle.Many queer folks were closeted, and of the few who were out, most of them were white.After graduating, I moved to New York, and though here I was able to find queer friends who are also people of colour, we are still always in the minority at gay bars and clubs.Within my own family, I had two gay uncles who died of AIDS-related illnesses before I was 10.